Monday, July 16, 2012

Letter Thirteen

My dear Smok,
It has come to my attention that you are planning a rampage. I understand that the humans in Aolia are woefully underprepared for dragons. There are a few sizeable towns and a smattering of villages, as I looked up in the records. It is an easy place to terrorize and a place where you may make a small name for yourself.
The trick to spreading rumors of your ferocity is to kill as few humans as possible; this may baffle you, but it is good advice. Humans, especially shocked and terrified humans, are prone to great exaggeration, especially those of the female type who are easily terrified. And of course the men are very gullible and will believe that the women who tell them of ‘that huge monstrous serpent, swooping down upon burning fields, unharmed by even the strongest sword’ to the extent that they will think it necessary to move to another, safer province immediately. Of course, helped along by several alcoholic beverages, the men will exaggerate the exaggeration; that is to say, they will spread your name so far that you will be an immediate success. You have your name; the nephew of Scaligar himself! And of course you will have your extreme reputation, as rumored among those survivors you leave in Aolia.
Now, on that note, rampages are often long and tiresome things; feel free to bail out at any time. I understand that Gargazath would be in favor of a prolonged, stupid rampage, but no; something a bit shorter is much better, and always make sure to leave survivors! And the best rampage is one in which you kill another (hopefully bigger too) dragon in plain sight. The humans will think you so fierce that they will quail at your very name, which of course you will make known to them by burning the letters into their crops.
-Your serpentine uncle,

No comments:

Post a Comment