Saturday, July 7, 2012

Letter Ten

My dear Smok,
It has come to my attention that you have moved to the coastal region of Aolia. Good move.
The humans there are completely unsuspecting, as they are used to sniveling, scheming fiends like your uncle Semithino, who put on a grand show of goodness and nobility. Terrorize these people, and they will spread your name far and wide in awe of your jellificating powers. Yes, a very wise move on your part. But, would you try to keep favor with your uncle Semithino; I may find it useful to have someone on the inside of his schemes. A double agent is everybody’s friend.
Now, concerning that blasted repossession business. I do hope you don’t take up your uncle’s idea of a good profession. Repossession is the job for wimpy dragons such as Slimtail the Thickheaded and Swamptongue the Fool. I urge you to go upon the true dragon’s path. For it is a lonely and hard path, fraught with dangers and oftentimes death, but at the same time it is noble, good, and befitting of a young talented dragon such as, well, one of your older brothers.
I hope that you know the proper methods of terrification. They are these:
1.    Induce fear. Fear is the best thing to spread your fame. A dragon who knows how to use fear to his advantage need not actually live up to his name. He can use his terrifying presence to scare the very soiled underpants off the humans. They will be shaking, quivering in their boots. A very successful dragon friend of mine, from my younger days of course, was Skarrtath; he will be remembered as one of the minor greats, not quite like Belligast, but close. But did you know, that in his entire career, he only killed ninety-six humans?
2.    Yes, Smok, you must make an excessive use of fire. Fire is the greatest attribute of a dragon (at least according to a human.) If a dragon never breathes fire at anyone, then people will start to pluck up courage, wondering if maybe he cannot breathe fire, and eventually some knight or some such warrior will sneak up on you and kill you with the advantage of surprise.
3.    Thirdly, the use of bodily appearance to render the look of experience and skill. If a dragon has many scars all along his body, humans are more likely to fear him and spread his name; for they will suppose that he has been through many trying battles and sieges and whatever else they might think he has been through. This will add to the terror of your very name. Someday, Smok, if you follow these instructions, you will be known by some name such as “The Gorger”, or “The Terrible”.
So, Smok, now that you have been given a few pointers, why don’t you go slaughter some people in a small town, to make known your immense power?
-Your serpentine uncle,

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