Saturday, July 21, 2012

Letter Sixteen

My dear Smok,
It has come to my attention that your uncle Semithino has been telling you lies about me. Now, his caricature of Gargazath is wholly accurate, but most of the things he said of me, he only said out of spite, conceit, and, dare I say it, even envy. He is jealous of the dragon I became, when I was in the prime of my youth, smart, brave, strong, and bold.
Let me tell you a little something of my past. When I was in my glory days, I was known far and wide as a terribly smart, incredibly dashing dragon of high repute. My name was glorious, and I was famed.
But then, the joining of the two families came. And Semithino, that devious serpent, caused all sorts of trouble.
He was a little devilish trickster, and he couldn’t keep his nose out of other people’s business for three and one sixteenth seconds. Rorfang, your father, should never have married that Eastern brat Ilithia! Semithino her brother was the worst, most badly behaved dragon in the world.
I went on the third rampage of my entire life, the greatest, the best! And you know what Semithino did? He came after me and bit off a piece of my ear, trying to stop my rampage. I was really mad at him then. I howled in pain and warded him off, the scrawny little runt. Then Semithino withdrew and has never fought another dragon since, the little dastardly coward.
The point is, Semithino has been telling lies to you, feeding them to you in bite-size pieces. He says he’s all righteous, but then he acts all haughty and prideful like there’s no tomorrow! I guarantee you he has some scheme going, some evil plan to use you as his slave! You know what will be next? Hypnosis! He’ll mind-control you, Smok! I tell you he will! He will use you as his right hand, taking over the world.
You see, that is why we are all so keen that you follow our commands; it is because you are a very promising young dragon. Gargazath and Semithino just want to use you to corrupt you to their wills, yet I promise you free life and fame.
Semithino’s disciplines are hard and rigid, with no time for fun or creativity, or even jellification, which is the best kind of recreation. Gargazath, on the other hand, is trying to turn you into a mindless idiot. Do NOT listen to their counsel, for they will lead you astray.
Now, concerning your ongoing rampage. I believe you have spread your name far enough, that is, if you have left survivors. I bet Gargazath told you to torch everyone, didn’t he? Now your name will never be known as one of the greats!
Please go back to your home in Aolia, and lay low for a while. Hopefully then no avenging knights will challenge you. Please pay attention to my advice.
-Your serpentine uncle,

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