Interviewer: J.T.Z. Baner
Interviewee: Secret Agent Spink
Z. Baner: Welcome back to another interesting, intriguing, intricate and ind—
Agent Spink: Get to my part, you narcissist!
Z. Baner: Ah, yes. Let us, without further ado, welcome our guest to the proverbial chair for our next interview.......SECRET AGENT SPINK!!
Agent Spink: why is the chair proverbial?
Z. Baner: Performance tax, expenses are up and intakes are down. Let’s just say we’ll welcome you to the visceral stool of enlightenment. See how it glows!
Agent Spink: is that white paint and glitter glue?
Z. Baner: Mind your own business!
Agent Spink: You wanna piece o’ me! Comm’on! BINKAWADOOOOOO!!!!!!!<(ancient Bulgarian food fight rouser)
J Baner: Anyway!*(give the man back his toupee, Z)*Lets get back onto this show. So; Mr. Spink, what is your exact line of work?
Agent Spink: Well, I run an agency incorporating several Secret Agent Spink artisans, including my own TV show, Secret Agent Spink fitness equipment, Secret Agent Spink action figures, and even I even run the Secret Agent Spink Super Hair Toupee shop—
Z. Baner: Dang right, that hairpiece looked like horsehair.
Agent Spink: I do not wear a toupee, my fine example of an equestrian posterior.
Z. Baner: Keep it up baldy, and you’ll be opening a Spink Skin Graft shop soon…
J. Baner: Lets change the subject shall we?
Agent Spink: Gladly.
J. Baner: So, Mr. Spink, what exactly is your TV show about?
Agent Spink: Well, its ‘bout my adventures with several sidekicks who die at the end of each episode.
J. Baner: How, er, sadistic.
Agent Spink: I’ve had Bobin, Tonkto, Super-Duper Boy, and the Kid Bash, all dying tragically at the end of the last scenes. Usually they get dunked in lava or get dared to have a staring contest with Chuck Norris.
J. Baner: Ooooh, incinerated the ole irises, eh?
Agent Spink: Yes, and the soundtrack is the best. Here, I’ve got a tape of it….
Z. Baner: Dude, that’s the ‘Lone Ranger’ soundtrack.
Agent Spink: It is not!
Z. Baner: Is too, you track thief.
Agent Spink: Is not.
Z. Baner: Is too!
Agent Spink: Is not!
Z. Baner: IS TOO!
Agent Spink: IS NOT!
Z. Baner: IS TOO!!
J. Baner: QUIET!!! Ladies, you’re both pretty, now can we get on with the interview; or will I have to use force?
Agent Spink: I show you force!!
J. Baner: *Choke! Gasp! Cough!*
Z. Baner: Spink, call off Darth Vader and stop stealing the whistling mangoes, you’ll make us look childish. I think we’ll cut off this interview for now, as the property tax will probably be sending a foreclosure on this warehouse soon.
Agent Spink: We’re in a warehouse? I thought it was a penthouse!
Z. Baner: Thought wrong, didn’t ya, horsehair.
Agent Spink: YOU GO TOO FAR! THIS HAIR IS ETHIOPIAN GOAT FUR! YYAAAAAAAAA****
[possibly the most violent interview since the leprechaun incursion, we ask you not to sue for mental scarring, and to please enjoy the blog.]
Cap. Shun, officer of the Royal Blogospheric Censoring Association