Weekend Disaster Post
Three nights ago after taxes rose a further ten silver Nerkits a large mob of forlorn Marshwiggles showed up outside the duke’s castle carrying numerous protests signs accumulated over the last few days proclaiming sentiments such as BOO TO THE DUKE! and GET BENT TAX MAN!
The head of the protestors is a Marshwiggle rebel known to local law enforcement as the Hooded Huddleglum. He has lead several anti-government activities in recent years, and has done serious damage to several banks, tax offices, and pubs (the last being while he was in a state of drinking frenzy).
He is rumored to be making pacts with gremlin clans, so that they can sabotage the duke’s fortifications, defenses, and computer modems. While the duke is unfortified, defenseless, and disconnected from his beloved computer games, the Hooded Huddleglum can strike a great blow and get great deals in protest signs, toilet paper, and duct tape, whilst sending a team of gnome thieves to steal the duke’s coffee beans (a dire blow indeed!).
Over time his rampant protesting and frankly flamboyant taste in sabotage has collected him a great number of Marshwiggle acolytes who are so loyal to him that they will even smile in his presence.
Local Faerie Law Enforcement has attempted to apparently no avail to pin down the mysterious protester’s hideout. They have tried the Sewers, his Penthouse, the cupboard under the stairs, and the three local alcohol installments.
The Hooded Huddleglum’s methods are dark, sinister, and potentially devastating to the breakfast supplies of any place he has targeted. Droves of muffins go missing each day, piles of pancakes are victimized in the alleyways, towers of waffles are mugged in the kitchen, etc..
This is a serious terrorist threat. The military of Myth may be soon involved, and the long-named nation of Azertionamibreckia has volunteered troops to assist with this deadly crisis. Without coffee beans the Duke will not be able to get up for a month at least!
Truly, this is a dire, dangerous, disastrous, dizzying, deadly, devilish, dorky disaster.
By Sir Owze S. Cumingdon