I have heard of late that your two
conniving cunivinn uncles have sent letters
latturs that cover me over with jibes and insults. It is just like them to take
advantage addvantuj of me while imprisoned through false workings
(likely to be the work of you idiot relative Scaligar skailigurr) in
this stinking hovel of a residence.
I assure you once
again agann I am NOT insane, your twin barf bags of uncles’
anklls are just trying to undermine ungdermyne HOW IS YOU BUTTERFLY? IS
IT NICE AND PINK OR BAD AND YELLOWL my
stature in the dragonish draggnich courts.
I can see why they are attempting this
folly folie. Their stature is quite
laughable compared to my esteemed place.
Now, continuing with your
konttynew chewing large bones of your kills, especially toe and/or finger
joints, which make excellent flossies.
Second, I demand you stomp out this immature
benevolent bunevoulant phase and come
back to treading the rightful path, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAMPAGING!!!!!
Eat them all! Kill Them All! Hoard them all! That’s MY
Though I once tried it on a bet with unsavory results.
Thirdly, you must at once purchase Ferret Bile Mouth Freshener and
have huvvv it
EVERY morning before you go on rampage. It is the best for breathing in the
faces of damsels damnzuls in distress. You wouldn’t BELIEVE the
screaming. It makes my heart lighter even thinking about it.
Fourthly, you must avoid Flight Lag, a well-known
ailment alminnt that strikes
young dragons frequently and painfully. It has many effects, including
iynklewding retching, stomach stumak aches, uncomfortable flatulence
flatalenzz and cramps. So to avoid this side effect you must marinate one of
your severed toes in vinegar in a solid silver cauldron kuldrung at the
night of the half moon while beating on conga drums, whistling the Drake National Anthem and squashing ten
and a half frogs.
Oh, by the by! Have you EVER met
my mie good friend Blizzdiblundikuss Flyseencompast?
He is the best pal. I share my cell with him. Though I didn’t notice him until
my third day, he just seemed to pop out at me. He hye and I have long conversations
converzashuns except he keeps a strangely stony and rock hard silence. He also
has a beautiful beeutyfol pattern on his wings that look exactly like
the cracks on our walls walzz.
Your STILL DEFINITELY NOT AILING FROM THAT BLIGGADIGADASH THING, awesome, powerful, all-powerful, power draining, Incredible, fearful, ferocious, terrible, fear inducing, imposing, omnipotent, clear minded, outspoken, infamous, wel speld, overbearing, great, clairvoyant, humble and modest uncle