Saturday, August 11, 2012

Letter Twenty-Eight

My dear Smok,
It has come to my attention that, with my helpful advice and wise counsel,  you have thoroughly terrificated Urway, and I am truly sorry that your friendship with Burgrath has come to a rather disappointing, grinding halt.
As I read in your letter, Burgrath was displeased by my high form of art, the gorilla war form, and, impatient by cause of bloodlust, he left you with some ear-damaging insults and a scar to remember him by. I am very sorry for you, and offer my condolences. But, as you will remember, I did warn you not to team up with Burgrath. The sniveling brute was such an idiot that he couldn’t string two sentences together, much less assault the grand city of Urway with you. I told you to team up with a different dragon. Yes, Arnecht Longfang would have been the perfect match. But you just ignored me, rushing headlong into danger and despair. You might as well have teamed up with your uncle Gargazath! Gargazath, I tell you! The stinking, thickheaded, birdbrained moron Gargazath! The impudent senseless knave Gargazath! The brutish brute of brutishness, Gargazath! You get the idea.
I must say, that was a fine job at Urway, even if you lost your partner. Your fame has begun to spread, and you are slowly jellificating your way closer to greatness. By the time you’re my age, you will be the greatest dragon the world has ever known (unless of course you listen to the likes of Gargazath and Semithino)!
By the way, I returned Semithino his journal, not after he broke into my cave and gave me a good thrashing, but after he cajoled me with uncounted letters to do so. But, don’t plan on making visits anytime soon, because my cave is still a mess (from all his letters, not his violent temper). I need to renovate.
How are your parents faring?
-Your serpentine uncle,

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