Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Letter Twenty-Five

My dear Smok,
It has come to my attention that you sought out Burgrath, and that he took your visit very well. Using all such strategies as I advised you, you swayed him over to your cause with extreme poise and cunning.
I am very pleased. I hope that you continue in the way which I instruct you, ignoring the poisoned words of your other two uncles, Gargazath and Semithino. I hope that you pay close attention to my advice and disregard theirs. However, it would be helpful if you read their opinions and kept them in your regular correspondence so that you might know their minds and anticipate any cunning rises to power they might attempt. And do not forget to strengthen your mind against Semithino’s hypnosis!
Here is a list of brain exercises to strengthen your mind and discipline it. Resisting the wiles of a trained and experienced hypnotist like Semithino will not be easy, but these will help if it ever comes to a war of the minds.
Firstly, you must take care to notice EVERYTHING! When you are not burning down towns and villages, spending a good half hour contemplating a simple object is an excellent way to sharpen your consciousness. Also, alternate between staring full-on and glancing at it through your peripheral vision. According to Semithino’s own methods (which I found through perfectly legal means, for he wrote these down in a private journal of his which I happened to come across in a perfectly well-meaning manner) the peripheral vision represents the subconscious, the least defended part of the brain. Strengthen your peripheral awareness and you will strengthen your subconscious against attack.
Next, do a lot of math. I know this sounds all terribly civilized and wrong for a dragon, but it may very well be your best defense against the mind master Semithino, the sniveling rotter! The little fiend! I want my ear back from that little brainless brat of a—
Anyway, as I was saying, lots of math. It will be useful. I don’t know how or why but apparently it is.
Lastly, always keep correspondence with smart individuals: your uncle Gargazath is NOT in this category of dragon. Keep tabs on him, but don’t rely much on his advice. Listen to smart dragons, such as, well, I hate to sound conceited, but, me.
Concerning Burgrath. I am glad you have gained his favor. Now, you two must make an attack on a larger settlement, such as a city. Hopefully, it is a city with decent-sized walls, a militia, and lots of huge buildings to burn. Might I suggest Urway? With two dragons assaulting the city, they won’t stand a chance. But remember, attack with calculated fanfare. Kill a few people, knock down a few towers, burn a few barns, but do not completely wipe out Urway. Make attacks regularly, lasting three minutes, every hour or so, all through the night. That’s called “gorilla warfare”. I learned about it from my own mentor. I have no idea why it’s named after gorillas, so please don’t ask. The two of you swooping in will make quite the spectacle, and since Urway is a large city, your fame will surely spread.
Your serpentine uncle,

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