Anouncer: Today we are going to do something different, as is the way of Iron Wyvern. This time we are merging a Weekly Post with an Exclusive Fantasy Interview. For you see, we are captioning our discussions with our names, given titles, preferred mascot names, or thrice wretched nick-names. And we shall be jumping from several titles as we go along.
Today, in the first of, I hope, many of these amazing posts, we shall be discussing emotions attached to bank tellers, their daily quips, and deposit tubes.
J.T.Z. Baner: Well, today, as you know, we shall be discussing the many levels of the art of Bank tellers, and their customers. Today we welcome to our ranks, not Sanguinox the Vampire schizophrenic, nor Sean the violent minded leprechaun, or me, buuuuuuuut……Psychiatrist Joe! If you could see me you’d note that then I’m flourishing my hands unashamedly, and grinning like a fool on stupid pills.
Joe: Well, thank you J.T.Z I can say without a doubt, I’ve never had a welcome like this, and especially not a proprietor wearing boxers, and, uh; a questionable clean…Is that a baby bib?
J.T.Z: Why yes it is, it’s just my usual end of Halloween dress up. And I thought we were talking about Bank tellers.
Joe: Why yes we are, indeed. A-hem! Well, as a psychiatrist I know how to sense pent-up emotions, and I like to investigate. And I have realized that a great number of individuals go to the bank drive-thru just to let it go.
Example: “Ohhhh! My tooth aches and my leg is killing me, and my cousin died, and, and, WAAAAH! BOO-HOO!” *blows nose violently on depositing check*
J.T.Z: Ah, well. That’s interesting, I’ve never seen that happen, but I don’t go to Banks much, all with, heheh, a rather skimpy bank account if you know what I mean. Well, what about the Bank teller’s reaction to these outbursts?
Joe: Well, I’m glad you asked, and I’ll go into it at long length…
J.T.Z: *Groan* I had a science teacher like this…
Joe: Oh, there’s no need to thank me, I do it all the time. Well, yes. The mystery of the Bank teller; from what I’ve gathered from close observation is that their reaction is surprisingly sedated, I mean, every single day they come and say; (Adopts high squeaky voice) ‘Hi, how are you today?’ in that voice of theirs. And always the answer is (Adopts deep, brooding growl) ‘Fine and/or okay’. I swear they’d say the same thing if a bullet riddled car muscles up to the window.
Bank Teller: “Hi, how are you today?”
Customer: “Aaaah! My car’s on fire, I’m being followed by my ex-boyfriend, *Sob* and these shoes don’t match!”
Bank Teller: “Yes, that’s great, and you want this in fifties right?”
J.T.Z: Wow, that heavy duty stuff. I think my bib just incinerated from the tension, that’s gonna scar…
Joe: yes, they are amazingly inattentive. They could have given Napoleon $500 in tens, Hitler in fifties, and shined a few terrorists’ shoes for good measure. It’s true, eye witnesses are available.
J.T.Z: Whoa, your kind of a weird psychiatrist, I’m getting major déjà vu, are you related to any leprechauns? Because if you are; I am not armed, and I’d really like that box over there to stay securely in its space of operation.
Joe: I take my profession very seriously J.T.Z and yes in fact, I have a cousin named Sean who says he knows you.
J.T.Z: Aaaaah! Nooooo! *ZOOOOOOOOOOM!*
Joe: Wow, look at him go. Boy, I thought that doors hinges would be a bit sturdier. Holy! Was that a hot dog stand he just vaulted? That sun cannot be good for him. Oops, snagged his boxers on a fishing hook, aaand, he’s in the duck pond…