Sunday, November 4, 2012

Letter Forty-Four

My dearest Nephew,
            First off, I would like to congratulate you on your continued battle against these irksome Rogues. Though I hear that they have scored a minor victory by burying your attacking phalanx in an avalanche, do not worry too much, I am sure that before long they will be running for the hills.
            For your next series of attacks, I would suggest the Whirling Dervish formation as it is, while a trifle erratic, very effective in confusing and usually vanquishing any opponent. If by any turn of fate the Rogues do manage to turn the battle on you, then use the Volcano defensive formation. I saw this formation used on the planes of Wadesh in the great battle of Treddgast where we Dragons fought for twelve days and nights against our savage cousins the Drakes. As you can see by the fact that the Drakes were relocated to the Island of Bootjaw following this epic conflict, this formation is one to be used in any battle.
            I hear that this Burgrath character is becoming quite a problem. I suggest dropping him in the ocean.
            On another subject, I have lately celebrated my four-hundred and forty-seventh birthday! The party was small, just a few friends from the local area and a feast of roasted meats and fruits. Today I received a package sent by your uncle Scaligar containing what was evidently his idea of an amusing substitute for a birthday gift.
            Upon opening it, I was besieged by six brutish goblins who had been packed inside the box and trained to attack the first person to open it. I was scratched and pounded by tiny fists and claws for several minutes until I was able to rally my senses and use my elemental pearl to capture these small antagonists and force them back into their box.
            I have since re-wrapped the box and sent it back to your uncle Scaligar in hopes of amusing results. Don’t tell him about this though, it might, ah, ruin the surprise for him.
            Your humble servant, mentor and uncle,

1 comment:

  1. Lol. "Don't tell him about this though, it might, ah, ruin the surprise for him." :D