Friday, September 7, 2012

Letter Thirty-Seven

My dear Smok,
It has come to my attention that you know of my successfully commanding an operation to capture Gargazath. He is now locked up in a mental facility because of his Terminal Blagardazash! Rejoicification! Feastification! Jellification! Hoorayification!
Now, you must be a traditional dragon! Break free of Semithino’s terrible influence. He is corrupting you, using you against yourself! You must listen to reason! I am ashamed that you should be fallen to his will. If you do not destroy your psychic connection to him, then you shall not survive. Cut off correspondence. Make sure you hardly ever talk to him again! I beg of you, don’t fall away. Come back to the proper tradition. Please, I hope you understand how desperate I am at this point. I wish that you could turn to the light. I would not want you to be wasted away, a husk of your true potential, helping miserable orphan humans left and right. I would hate for you to turn away from your true self.
My deepest condolences if you continue on your current path, but I have gotten hold of a job offering that would increase your fame, even though it is a benevolent act. There is a king up north in the Frostuay province, who has recently had troubles with rogue dragons. If you can best them, then you will be known far and wide as a fierce fighter, who can battle many dragons and still triumph.
The name of the king is Joseph, and he lives in Byrenion Castle, in the Frostuay province. But please make your collaboration with the king very discreet, or else it will be known that your act was one of benevolence and not of traditional greatness.
-Your serpentine uncle,

1 comment: