Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Letter Thirty-Eight

My Dearest Nephew,
Due to my connections in the Frostuay province, it has come to my attention that the kingdom there is under attack from a vicious group of dragon marauders. Also, you told me in your last letter.
       Even though you tell me that your uncle Scaligar wishes you to help this king to strengthen your image of greatness, I think that you should do it to make it known that you are a reliable dragon to call on in times of great danger. One of the benefits of helping this kingdom is that the king might come to your aid if you ever are in a sticky position. Being a benevolent dragon is not always something that we do out of the goodness of our hearts, there are benefits to be gained as well as the satisfied feeling a dragon gets from helping the people around him.
       Now, as to how to best these dragons. I hear that they count a powerful Northern dragon among their number, so I would not suggest attacking them head on, that is how dragons such as Beowlaga the permanently concussed and Atharta of the splintered spinal column were injured in the first place, but rather use cunning and strategy. One of the best ways to get rid of a dragon (or many dragons in this case) would be to leave numerous wineskins filled with heated wine along the path to their layer, make it seem as though it is an offering made by the people to appease the dragons. Most dragons when faced with such a meal will immediately devour the skins, wine and all and become bloated and sluggish, making them easy to take down.
       Another, rather more painful course of action would be to fill cakes with sheeps’ wool and tar and offer them to the dragons. When eaten, the cakes will kill the dragon by way of food-poisoning. This method kills the dragon over a longer period of time however, giving said dragon quite some time to create havoc in the towns before finally kicking it, therefore, only use it (a) in a deserted area far from any human settlements of any kind or (b) when all else has failed ad there is no other possible solution.
       Your humble servant, mentor and uncle,

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