It has come to my attention that you are moving
out of your parents’ cave to a small piece of real estate in the Chur province.
I urge you to reconsider! You are not ready yet to begin a campaign as a fierce
dragon. No, stay with your parents until I advise you to go. And anyway, even
if you were ready I would not want you ending up in the Chur province. It is
small and the humans there are hardly worth jellification. You will not prove
yourself fierce and mighty at all if you go there. I know a dragon named
Slimtail who has taken up residence there; a puny dragon he is, not feared at
all. No, you want to move to a place renowned for some semi-greats. Not the
legendary ones, mind you, like Poisonfang or Belligast; their reputation would
be unsuitable to campaign against. Do not move to Ghuran or Svagor province,
either; remember the great Ripptooth who terrorized both those areas? No, pick
a coastal province or one in the heart of the kingdom; but the middle are
either those of the greats or the wimps. You want neither. I would personally
advise you as a successful dragon to choose Higard province. There are many
good lair caves there, and the humans are a very great delicacy. Not to mention
that there have been a few intermediate dragons there, but not many, so that if
you prove to be one of these, even then your name shall spread with reputation.
Of course if you have a load of potential and turn out to be one of the greats
it will spread even quicker, provided you leave survivors (hehehe). Yes, Higard
would be a good choice, but do not move too soon. Understand?
Now, in your letter which you sent me, I notice
that you seem to have a liking for sheep as a meal. I realize that you have not
really tasted fresh human flesh. I advise you to know that sheep are far worse
than men; their fluffy coats get stuck in between the teeth, sometimes causing
a draconic gum disease called ‘Cottontooth’. Your teeth grow soft and fall out
one by one. To avoid this make sure to sharpen them twice every day and drink
plenty of cave-water. Take regular naps if your teeth become soft. I would go
so far as to advise you to stay off your sheep diet and choose instead fish; if
you sit at a stream with your mouth open in the water, quite a few will swim in
and you will have a filling meal. But since your sheep appetite must be sated,
try to wean yourself off that and watch for cottontooth.
-Your serpentine uncle,
Scaligar
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