Lout, Lout, Lout,
I take it as a sign of goodwill that you did not tell your mother about our correspondence. Keep it that way.
In your most recent (and only, so far) letter to me, you mentioned receiving letters from two other "uncles." Please assure me that you will not listen to their advice. They are not really your uncles. In fact, those letters are most likely part of a scam. "Honest" Bingo Gobspit is no relation of ours, and this Ferkyle Gruntbutt just seems like a very unsavory character, who's probably been elected Cleanest Troll of the Year at least twice. As you can see, you should not trust either of them.
Scam artists are a bad bunch!
-Your real uncle,
Ferdy Snotdrop
P.S. The answer to Question #3 is 187. You're welcome.
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