Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The Weekly Draconian, 9.10.14. Issue #6

We may have finished Book Two of TDL, but TWD will continue (The Weekly Draconian, not The Walking Dead, for those of you who watch way too much Netflix). After all, there are several happenings in the draconian lands, despite the three uncles' respective departures.
Without further ado, here is the 6th installment in The Weekly Draconian!

Police Recapture 6 Inmates in Aolia; Dangerous Convict Found Dead
Columnist: Glen Greenscale
Editor: Krala the Terror

Sources within the Aolia Provincial Police Department say that yesterday, six escaped inmates of Exilius Regional Penitentiary were taken into custody. APPD refuses to disclose the names of the escapees, as knowledge of their arrest may alert other fugitives in the area. However, they have disclosed certain details of the arrest.
Police forces were tipped off by an anonymous citizen with suspicions that the fireworks and numerous explosions were possibly evidence of suspicious activity. A crack police team, led by the renowned Lieutenant Mustachius the Doughnut Lover, began to stake out the residence at 6:00 p.m. Monday night. At 3:00 a.m. Tuesday morning, a S.L.A.P. team breached the cave through the back entrance and proceeded to apprehend all six suspects with no complications.
A fine piece of work by the A.P.P.D. Said Lieutenant Mustachius, "Once we identified one of the residents as one of the escaped convicts when he went out for beer, we set up for the breach. [The operation] went well, and I'll be promoting a few people tomorrow morning." All in all, he agreed that it was "dang fine police work. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go grab a doughnut."

In other news, escapee Scaligar the Sly, suspected as one of the main conspirators in the mass breakout, was found hanged in his old cave just yesterday. He was discovered by an old friend, Draconian Ambassador Rexrei Wythwave, who had come by to do the gardening. Why an international ambassador would be doing gardening for a convicted felon, no one knows, but who cares? It's one less dragon to worry about.
Scaligar has left his belongings to his nephew, Smok the Strategic, who is famed for putting a crew of rogue dragons to justice in Frostuay a year ago.
Upon being conducted to the morgue by the authorities, Scaligar's body was cremated without investigation. Police authority Preznixin of Watergate says that no investigation was needed into a simple suicide. He showed the ashes to several reporters, saying, "These are definitely not the ashes of hot dogs that were burned to a crisp. These are definitely Scaligar's ashes. I was not bribed by Scaligar to pretend these were his ashes."
As one can clearly see, Scaligar the Sly did not fake his death.

-Reporting for The Weekly Draconian,
Glen Greenscale

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