Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Book Two Letter Fifty-Four

Behold, Semithino's last letter in Book Two of The Draconian Letters. Strap in for the craziest ride of your life (well, maybe the second craziest, but did that rollercoaster have turtle witches?)

Read on!

My Dearest Nephew,

First off allow me to give you some good general advice and tell you to never ever accept a ride from a Gryphon and ESPECIALLY not a Hungarian Gryphon. With that out of the way I’ll backtrack a bit to my part of the story your uncle Scaligar so viciously cut off.
So if I am correct he simply ended his recounting of my entrance at the point where he fled from the prison guards and dove into the sea to escape recapture by the authorities. The battle went on quite a bit longer than this but first allow me to backtrack further to the time to the point where I first started to need to ride the Gryphon for transportation.
As you know from my last letter my friends and I from the beach along with our duct taped turtle friend set out for your uncles’ prison. Most unfortunately for us we stopped in a thick wood for a rest one night. As we sat around our fire together swapping manly stories (told by both males and females) an ancient turtle dressed in rags hobbled into our campsite.

We treated her (for we realized that it was a female turtle) with the utmost campsite but just as we were on the point of punting her out of our campsite and seeing how far she could fly she revealed herself to be a Witch. I know, a turtle Witch. But bear with me here.
For what she called rudeness she threatened to turn us all into bats and allow us to flap around her forest for the rest of our tired little lives. Then she spotted our little turtle friend all wrapped up in his duct tape cocoon (actually he made a pitiful little turtle noise which I tried to muffle by throwing a wing over him but he just moaned louder).

The turtle Witch became very angry at this despite my explanation that we were using him as artillery. She said that my friends could be bats but that fate was too good for me. Therefore she delved into the depths of her black soul for the cruelest fate she could derive and stole my ability to fly.

Yes you heard me right. I can no longer fly. The curse is that I cannot fly until I truly fall in love again like I did in Dragon High. But anyway, more about that later.

The Gryphon I was riding was the turtle which the Witch (heh heh which Witch? Never mind) transformed into a magnificent Hungarian beast of the air. It would have been magnificent if it hadn’t been kind of still angry at me for using it as an artillery shell earlier. He bumped me around abit on the flight.

Sitting astride my Gryphon steed and accompanied by my entourage of bats (formerly Dragons) I set out for the prison.
Well you know what came next. Your uncles fled into the water and swam off to who knows where. I on the other hand was sent crashing into the prison by the turtle/Gryphon who lost control of his new wings.

I will not say exactly what happened during our terrible fight with the prison guards except to say that bats fight even better than Dragons and that radioactive pineapples do in fact explode.
Suffice to say that we got off pretty easy while they did not.
And now I come to the most difficult issue of this letter. It grieves me to tell you that I must stop writing these letters for quite some time if not forever. I have made myself a vow that I would give myself little or no contact with the world outside of my brothers until I have found my true love and regained my flight.

Until then I remain

Your humble servant mentor and uncle,

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