Book Two Letter Twenty-Two

The contest still stands, readers! What is the title of the dragon Barbung? Barbung the What? I'll give you a hint: it doesn't start with a B, so you can cross out Barbung the Barmy. I'll give you another hint: it's a synonym for rude, and starts with one of these three letters:

Z, I, or W

Good luck! And remember, the reward is that you get to name a dragon (name and title), or you can name a province. And specify if it's in the North, South, East, or West, if you pick the province option. Here's Trubodox's next letter. Cheerio!

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Dear Smok,

It has come upon my notice that your uncle Scaligar is a dork, or to put it in learned terms, Dorkus Ignoramus Crackpoticus Uber Maximus. Any way you put, in street slang or Latin translation, it all spirals down to the problem of the universe: my single minded, accusation inclined fencepost of a brother.

How DARE he accuse me of planting that stick of dynamite in Ratakis’s locker? And he even had the audacity to ask me what the combination of his locker was. Like I know! 46-64-729 Honestly! The sheer, nerve, and no I did not fence an illegal shipment of Flammabotamine to the T.E.N.N.I.S. (by the way its pronounced “flam-u-BOUT-u-mine” not f rally, preposterous, highly irregular. I shall bring him to court for this.

Oh, and did I explain about my plan concerning my striking resemblance to Geekadox, and vice-versa, and the reason he is currently taking up space, and at the moment sawing logs industriously in my inter-living room. I have hatched a daring and ingenious plan, to replace myself with Geekadox (once he subsides chopping down forests in my homestead). As I have long since realized your uncle’s diabolical drafting of my letters using his brick minded lackey of a Drake to terrorize my mailman.

And so accordingly, I plan to send a decoy letter intentionally close to Scaligar’s airspace, narrating a perfectly boring letter to you. I have written below a copy of the letter, so to portray my exact wording, so in your return letter to my decoy narrative you may be convincingly dull and perfectly inauspicious.

Dear Smok,

It was perfectly blarney this week, with nothing interesting going on, and nothing whatsoever concerning my vacation time, a rabid fan, or a decoy letter, nothing at all. Quite boring this week, nothing to say, just though I’d check in to catch up any excitement, as there is none at my cave, none at all; nope, nothing, lukewarm, deadpan.

Hope you have a very good week, as I wouldn’t want you to tell of anything unnecessarily boring came your way. That backwind is all down my street.

Your innocent and bored uncle,

Trubodox the Scarlet

Perfectly convincing don’t you think; nothing suspicious in that, no sir-ee. Heheh, he’ll never suspect a thing. Foolish, underbred relatives. Oh, and don’t tell Semithino, as I’m planning to vacation in the Eastern Provinces near to him. Don’t you dare!

Anyway, Geekadox will replace me for an appropriately extended time, though not for at least a few weeks; as I must get my affairs in order, shop for sunscreen, scale polish and reinforced titanium lawn chairs (50% off at Drakemart).

But for the moment I must prepare for the Secret Counsel in five days. I am sharpening my claws appropriately, and shopping for pepper spray, though the best I’ve come up so far is a pepper shaker, dang, maybe I should go somewhere else then the spice mart for such weapons.

Hoping to see your decoy and genuine letter soon.

Your ingenious uncle,

Trubodox the Scarlet AND GEEKADOX THE REDD

P.S. The next time he does that I’ll send him to Frizid to saw logs and cut ‘em.