Tuesday, October 23, 2012

How to Ward Off Unseemly Fantasy Pests: The Latest Research

The Wilsons of Redrock Lane didn’t realize that they had a sprite infestation until it was too late. They heard things at night, little noises, but they dismissed it as the creaking of the house.
One day, Charlie Wilson came home to find his wife hogtied to the oak tree out in front of the house. When he came closer to investigate, a league of over a hundred sprites jumped out from the branches of the tree and attacked him. He ended up hogtied to the tree next to his wife.
They waited six hours until some travelers passing by saw them and helped them. By then the sprites had scurried back to their holes, planning more mischief.
The couple hired Smokeout Spell Services for a hefty fee to expel the sprites from the house, but there are ways to avoid the cost of such extreme methods. One such way keeps your lawn pretty and keeps the pests out. Hiring some gnomes is a great way to make sure the little pesky brats never get past your lawn. They are excellent guards and known masters of the ancient martial art of “yard kwon do”, plus they come cheap: all they require is that you regularly mow your lawn. You see, gnomes see the business of lawn guarding as a good way to settle down and have families. Soon you’ll have a whole clan of gnomes in your yard, guarding nearly every inch of the property and keeping your house sealed off from sprites and other creatures.
The next creature that will be discussed is the flying monkey. This infamous pest inhabits western areas and is a real pain in the donkey. Flying monkeys are destructive beasts that cause trouble to the ecosystem wherever they go. Most people just avoid areas with reputations for flying monkeys, but actually they don’t know the easy secret to getting rid of them. All you have to do is leave some dirty socks, preferably five in number, on the top of your roof. This will ward them off like a charm. No more pesky flying monkeys. The real problem is the flying rabbits. Have you heard of those? Well, anyway, no useful tips in getting rid of them. Ta ta for now, the post.

Article written by Mundungus Dent

1 comment:

  1. I dearly need your help. At this very moment my house is under attack by flying bunnies. Please, Please, Please HELP!!