Friday, May 30, 2014

The Weekly Draconian, 5.30.14

The third installment of the Weekly Draconian has been delayed two days, due to the writers' procrastination Memorial Day Weekend. Enjoy this slightly late perfectly timed special!

Friday, May 30
Doctorate Degree Stolen at U of Yovi!!!

Columnist: Brett Sorethumb
Investigative Journalist: Slimtail the Thickheaded

Late last night at the acclaimed provincial University of Yovi, which has ejected some of the brightest and lightest Dragons in Yovian history--which include the inventor of the itchy blanket bed, and also the first brewer of the Endangered Species Soup--, the medical office on the second floor was broken into and ransacked by a supposedly Draconian thug.
Evidence to this fact was given by several native security guard, who asserted that it had a long pointy thing, and big flappy things that  it used to flappy away, quoth he.
The nearest employee of the Draconian was one Slimtail the Thickheaded, who investigated immediately, thought the reason for him ironing his snout and wearing a fake tale is still unsure, though possibly he wanted to change his name around.
Contrary to popular speculation, something had been stolen from the medical office, transforming the uninvited ransacker from 'thug' to 'thief', and causing an outbreak of the cha cha dance of hate amid the faculty.
According to Slimtail, a highly valuable doctorate degree which had been planned to be given to the latest and greatest medical mind in UY, Lubott’omi the Slightly Greasy, had been purloined from the main filing cabinet, most likely after it was melted by a presumably Draconian flame broiling.
Intent on finding evidence of the culprit, Slimtail proceeded to bust the place up for the second time, finding nothing important, not counting the small note with some letters on it stuffed under a cabinet, involving something about a scaly guitar.
Once again, the Draconian has been momentarily stumped by the working of the criminal mind, but we shall prevail, we shall find evidence to the culprit and soon sell lots of papers because we’ve solved the case.

Brett Sorethumb
Executive Reporter and Columnist  

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