My dear Smok,
It has come to my attention that your planned date with Limmie the Mildly Cute the other night did not go as expected. I should know; I was there the whole time, masterfully attempting to manipulate events from behind the scenes (in your favor, of course).
It started easily. You scheduled your date with Limmie the Mildly Cute, to be set at your cavern, with some catering and then a night out with the stars. But, somewhere along the way (perhaps when you entrusted Semithino with the details of writing up your invitation in calligraphy), as I have deduced after the fact, the wrong address was given to Limmie.
I blame Semithino.
That old tart has been secretly framing such bewildering incidents since he was in diapers. I remember when the two sides of the family first came together, and he chewed half my ear off while I was helplessly roasting in a gigantic vat of stew! I've mentioned this before, quite a long time ago, so I won't go into too many details.
So, here is my account of the other night.
I flew to your cavern. Of course I wasn't going to leave you unassisted if trouble arose with your date, so I was
stalking watching over your new home, awaiting any wind of ill omen.
Of course, when Limmie did not show up, that set off the first checkered flag in my mind. I waited about twenty minutes. Maybe she'd been detoured off the Skyway and had to take a different route due to unexpected traffic problems?
Her absence struck the thirty minute mark, so I began to suspect foul play. That was just when Semithino came barreling down from the dark night sky, nearly bowling straight over me in a heap of frantic madness.
"Scaligar!" he hissed. "I need your assistance. Limmie went to the wrong house!"
I suspect that he had framed this whole incident on purpose for some good fun, but it was very good acting if he had. I agreed to help him, keeping my suspicions that he was in on it to myself.
We flew as if we were being pursued by hornets to save the date. As soon as we reached a good altitude of flight, however, a gigantic draconian figure tumbled out of the night's clouded canopy, headed right toward us!
I could have sworn it was some dark wraith of the night, intent on killing us, dicing us into tiny pieces, and selling our internal organs on the black market. The figure careened toward us with wings unfurled, coming straight for us, but we also held our course, determined not to back down in the face of this huge dragon.
The moon came out of the clouds just before we collided. It was Trubodox! We slammed straight into each other and crashed to earth, flattening a small red barn.
Trubodox explained the frightening horrors he had seen at Smok's old abode: the house overrun by Yovians, Limmie kidnapped by those barbarous lunatics.
We had to save her.
I'll let Semithino tell you the stagnant tale of our misfortunes from there on out as we all ventured through the skies to converge upon your old abode and rescue Limmie the Mildly Cute from the clutches of those evil Yovians. Then you can tell me if he was really in on it.
I swear, it was almost like Semithino set up the whole thing.
-Your serpentine uncle,
So, what do you think is going to happen in the next installment of The Draconian Letters?
Is Semithino really plotting against his relatives?
Comment below with your opinions, notes, and suggestions. Thank you for reading Iron Wyvern!