Pixie/Gnome Trench War: Several
hundred human lawns have been emptied of all their seemingly inanimate garden
gnomes; pixie-hollows and devotee frequented shrines have emptied of the
thousands of Faery Folk. Some would explain this as “Vacation” or “urgent
family business”. Poppycock I say, from a live video feed that has reached the
post we now know that a Pixie/Gnome Trench War has begun in the Valley of the
Noxious Winds. More information on Page 2:
The Fabled Page 2:
“From
my vantage point on the valley’s cliff I have a perfect view of the
proceedings. They are remarkably dishonorable. I see several cases of pinching,
hair pulling and judiciously placed elbows to the stomach, navel and other
painful body parts.”
“Well,
it looks like the Pixies are on a winning role currently, Zig Zagh Quank, the
pixie general has Barto Burztbelt in a headlock and playing “Got your conk”
over and over again (I love that game), and the pixie tide certainly appears to
be overwhelming the burly Gnome defenses, which currently consist of two
collapsing towers and a burning fence.”
“But,
on the other hand, the Gnomes’ catapult is beginning the wreak havoc in the
fragile ranks of bloodthirsty pixies, sending a series of flaming sod squares,
boulders and boxer-wrapped teapots (They ran out of oily rags you see).”
“And
Burztbelt has rallied his forces, he’s hiking up his snapped belt and sending
ranks of Gnomes…Up HERE? What the?! Run for your life Sam, they’ve got crayons!”
Here
ends the live feed, Jon and Sam were found the next day bound and gagged with
broken crayons surrounding them and several rude proclamations scrawled on
their clothes and bonds.
According
to them, the Gnomes managed to escape and the pixies burned the defenses
completely and took control of the Valley of the Noxious Winds. No loss there.
Sleep
well,
The
Post
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