2014 Riddling Derby #1 RESULTS!

On Tuesday, the First Riddling Derby of 2014 was published on ye olden blog, Iron Wyvern, and was met with much riddle-guessing by ye olden bloggers.

Now, on Friday, we are here convened to give the results of the First Riddling Derby of 2013. I know it's a bit early to end the contest, but we have other things to move on to. So be it.

I gave you three riddles to solve, and one of you has been crowned the victor, now holding the title as Riddling Champion of 2013. His or her name shall be forever inscribed in the Hall of Riddlers to commemorate this precious achievement.

The First Riddle was:
A donkey behind another donkey, I am behind that second donkey, but a whole nation behind me.
What am I?

The correct answer: Assassination.

The Second Riddle was:
How many times can you subtract 5 from 25?

The correct answer: One, or once.

The Third Riddle was:
As I was going to St. Ives,
I met a man with seven wives,
Each wife had seven sacks.
Each sack had seven cats.
Each cat had seven kits.
Kits, cats, sacks, and wives,
How many were going to St. Ives?

The correct answer: One.

Now, the winner is:

Taisia Tinuviel!!!!!!

Congratulations, Taisia! You now hold the title, until someone beats you in an upcoming Derby.

And now for some announcements! We're going to keep the background indefinitely; comment with your thoughts about it. A Weekend Disaster Post is upcoming, whenever one of us has time to write one up.

A Million Ways to Say Goodbye - A Poem

A million ways to say goodbye:
angrily, happily,
with the deepest, saddest sorrow,
melancholy,
bright and jolly,
looking forward to tomorrow.

A million ways, in different tongues
a million phrases, songs are sung,
and all these things
mean the same:
goodbye.

Forever,
and for a day,
three years,
and fifteen minutes grey,
goodbye in words and gestures said.

Embraces, kisses,
handshakes, gifts,
weeping, tissues,
firmest grips,
to say that we will not forget
though time has come to let it go.

A million ways to say goodbye,
a million more and on and on,
but not one reason ever why,
not one reason for goodbye.

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Hello, readers of Iron Wyvern! Riddling Derby Results will be announced tomorrow to conclude the first riddling derby of 2014, followed by a disaster post for the weekend.

Comment below with impressions of the poem, questions, or suggestions of any sort.

2014 Riddling Derby #1!

Welcome, readers, one and all, to the First Riddling Derby of Iron Wyvern for the year of 2013!

We've had Riddling Derbies before, but I'll explain the rules once again:

I will post three riddles.
You will comment with your best guess for each one.
Whoever guesses the most riddles correctly shall win the honorary (and nonexistent) pixelated internet garland, which is completely fake and nonexistent erh-herm on loan to a museum in Norway.

All right! That being said, let the First Riddling Derby of 2014 BEGIN!!!!

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1: A donkey behind another donkey, I am behind that second donkey, but there is a whole nation behind me.

What am I?

Book Two Letter Thirty-Nine

My Dearest Nephew,

You went out on a date with Limmie the Mildly Cute?! What a horrible idea! No doubt one of your uncles suggested it? Come on, fess up, which one was it? Never mind, you can tell me in your next letter. Just whatever you do, don’t take anymore courting advice from your uncles.

            Have you decided on your choice for your new home Province? You didn’t decide to move North did you? Oh, and don’t move South either, too close by far to Yovi. You might be well advised to look around the area of the Higard Province, wait, your uncle Scaligar suggested Higard too didn’t he? Whatever you do, don’t stray too near to Higard, it’s a horrible place.

Book Two Letter Thirty-Eight

My not-so-dear-today Smok,

It has come to my attention that your uncle Semithino sent the horde of drakes outside my cave a battering ram! Needless to say, I have spent the whole morning shoring up my barricades while the barbarians outside attempted to storm through, armed to the teeth with teeth, teeth, and teeth. Xelle has retreated into the lower cellar complex of my cave; it is a vast maze down there, and no male drake could ever find her in my giant array of cavernous cellars, even if he got into my cave. I have also rigged the cellar door with some makeshift explosive charges, based partially on the black powder I once threw at Gargazath. Ah, sometimes I miss the old days.

Book Two Letter Thirty-Seven

Dear Smok,

PINEAPPLES?! PLUCKED BIRDS?! Honestly Smok sometime you should realize your mistake in corresponding with that ecologistic pro-health-farm dolt you call an uncle, and do what I’ve been tellng you to do for years. Burn his letters, in acid, in a sacrificial chamber, with peanuts.

    Concerning other matters, the counter renovation of my cave (or its remainder) is currently enacted by Bing and Bong the Doorbell drake twins. As stupid as styrofoam insulation, as the saying goes. Incidentally they did try to insulate the walls with styrofoam, I forcefully rebuffed them.

    As to the state of my beleaguered cave, it has been stripped to the bare rock. That anarchist of a replica Geekadox destroyed everything. I'd take legal action if he weren't on a fast rocket to the mid ocean taking a long leave of absence.

Dragon in the Snow

When the mountains don their caps,

As the forests gain their covers,

White abounds o’er all the land,

Frost bound hills like icy brothers.

While the people rush indoors,

Fleeing the wind that outside sings,

All but one warm safe inside,

This single creature spreads its wings.

Frosty scales, and icy claws,

Silver wingtips, golden eyes,

Taking to the restless winds,

Beneath the Dragon all land lies.

Swooping in the sky’s embrace,

Wings widespread to catch the breeze,

Skimming o’er the snow cloaked fields,

Alone but for the endless freeze.

Alone above the endless snows,

The Dragon dives to the ground below,

And with a roar that shakes the skies,

Fire bursts across the snow.